Are you happy or am I better off?


Tuffy

Now, this is a very funny yet intense topic! I have a very cute and absolutely adorable pet dog called Tuffy and he is my darling, my joy, and the “happy element”, of the house. I have always been an animal lover and I adore them from the core of my heart.

Our cute little Tuffy loves riding in the car and we take him for little Mc Donalds drive-thrus, or a quick coffee after dinner. So, one fine evening. when we were happily driving through the streets, our car came on a narrow edge of a street and we had to turn the car around, that was when a young teenage urchin hopped out of his gate, with a measly, bony, yet very bright and sharp looking stray dog.

It was a fleeting moment of truth, wherein I looked at the boy wearing a tight dirty shirt and had unkempt. disheveled hair, holding the bright little thin dog, with a mere string, and on the other hand, my Tuffy was comfortably cushioned, in the luxurious comforts of my car!

I thought to myself about the stark contrast and different life situations, of both the dogs. While one is a stray and might be struggling the whole day with a pack of powerful and valiant strays, for a morsel of food. He might be subjected to cruel jabs and crude remarks by the people, whenever he might be sitting by the street.

For him, a day would be filled with a fight to survive. This particular stray might be the lucky one, as he seemed to be adopted by this bright young teenager lad, who despite being poor, took care of him and took him out for a walk, after feeding him with what little food he has. Despite all, this boy looked joyous and the dog looked so cheerful and excited, that he will go out for a walk with his master!

On the other hand is my Tuffy who is handfed and given all kinds of comforts of a warm cozy bed, choicest food items, loads of affection, and pampering by each member of the family. My cute little one seems happy, but he does slouch and gets scared when confronted with stronger dogs of the neighborhood and he hates to see any of the other dogs, as he knarls and growls with anger at their sight. At times he slouches and sulks, when he doesn’t get attention.

If I would for once impersonate Tuffy and ask out of curiosity that, “Are you happy, or am I better off?” I wonder what the two dogs might be thinking, as they both are of the same species but, Fate has given one a cartload of worries and a life full of struggles, while, the other is supposedly blessed with all that he wants to live a comfortable life! So, the question arises that is the street dog happier than Tuffy.

The answer is very simple and that is that happiness cannot be bought! The stray was happy in the little joy he got with the boy and the walk with him was making him happier, as he would be one level above his peers on the street! I won’t say that Tuffy isn’t happy, but his happiness is not as deep and satisfying, as that of the stray, and I would vouch for the fact that he is a happy little soul, who thanks God, for all that he gets and is able to live happily with complete freedom!

Hopefully Aimless


Hopefully Aimless

A life who came into this world, with a lot of zeal and enthusiasm. A child who could never stop smiling and whose naughty dimpled smile, stole innumerable hearts, never thought that when he will grow up into a strapping handsome man, he will be despised, insulted, and compared with his peers at every step of his life!

He has so much energy that he is an extremely responsible asset to his family. He takes such good care of his parents, grandparents and does not utter a word, even if he is himself tired or hungry. Each person in the family takes his help and takes him for granted, that he is there, so no one needs to worry about a prompt ride to the hospital, doctor, running errands for household stuff, and countless other chores.

He performs all the tasks with perfection and never utters a word of dissent or a slight complaint, that he is unwilling to do any of the above, but, despite all of his good work, he is never appreciated, on the other hand, he is ridiculed and made fun of, by a sarcastic quip, that he is jobless, so he needs to do at least some work!

The most admirable quality of this bundle of joy is that he never loses his smile and does everything, despite, all the mental torture he faces at every step of his life. He refuses to be bogged down, by the constant barbs and remains fixed about what he wants to do in life. He believes in himself and knows that he will find his path, even if it is taking ages for anything concrete to shape up.

I have full faith in this boy and I know, that once he will get a chance to prove his capabilities, he will outshine each of his competitors and make something fantastic in life!

Life has dealt a hard blow on him, with enemies in his own home, but his undaunted spirit will take him to a direction, of which maybe even he does not know. His sharp intelligence and remarkable communication capabilities will ultimately reward him and he will achieve all his goals and emerge as an extremely successful and most sought-after personality later on in his life!

I feel sad and helpless, as I cannot help him directly in guiding and encouraging him and making him feel comfortable, with the way he is and how with quiet patience he can strive towards a better life.

But. I have complete faith in God and I know ultimately all my prayers will be answered and this boy will make me proud, one fine day and I know that day will come for sure.

The Rising Sun


It rises each day, heralding a new start, ushering in new life, hope and unlimited aspirations, reaffirming the fact that every night has a day!

Its continuous rising and setting and how its embalming sun rays, provide nurturing life to an infinite number of living organisms , is incomparable.

One should get Inspired by the Sun, for its undying energy and to keep going tirelessly, no matter what.

So, keep smiling as bright as the Sun and keep a staunch hope in your heart, that no matter how dark or difficult your life is now, the phase will ultimately end and again you will rise and shine brightly as the Sun!

Just Walk


Sometimes you only need to walk and just walk, irrespective of what others say, or view, as the more you bother, the more you will swayed by them.

So, just stay firm and walk on the way of your life, undeterred filled with ultimate confidence.

Just walk, as only you know your path and no matter how much you explain, others wont understand.

Walk firmly, taking every step, with complete confidence and assurance that you are going to reach your destination, as decided and fulfil your long cherished dreams.

So, just walk as when you walk, you walk, not the world around you, so, ignore them and walk gracefully to new thresholds!

Valiance


When Life moves at an easy pace and you think, that after settling down with great difficulty, to a new routine and a new lifestyle, you feel at peace and tend to relax and feel happy that, finally you have found something meaningful to live your life for.

You feel content and a sense of rhythm sets in, but, little do you know that this was the silence before a storm, that could engulf and suck you in, without leaving a trace of any of your remnants! This storm catches you unaware and you have no clue that it is going to strike you with such force, that you are knocked off your wits!

This is the storm of suppressed emotions. Those emotions, which you keep in your subconscious state and they keep ringing in your head, while you are facing a difficult situation in your real life. When these situations arise you act accordingly and remain strong and pull through each struggle and difficulty, by mustering enough inner strength with a brave face and emerge victorious. But, every time you fight it out, you keep a set of fears and emotions, deeply hidden in your heart.

Time passes and struggles, sufferings, diseases and countless issues keep coming and each time, you keep piling up those small and big fears in the back of your mind. It is more like a volcanic pit where strong emotions are continuously being thrown one after the other and then comes a time when the pit fills up and it can take no more. That is the time, when all the suppressed emotions burst and they overflow out of your subconscious state, with such force that you are yourself not able to understand, that, what has happened with you!

You start falling deep down that pit and it is like there is no stopping and you feel like you are caught in a whirlpool of strong flowing winds, which can destroy you and finish you off! Initially, you are dumbfounded and totally at a loss, as to what is happening, as you become a victim of your own emotions!

It takes time for you to understand, as to how you will cope with these absolutely terrifying conditions and how you will get out of it, as you seem like you are blown like a dry twig in cold and ruthless winds! Slowly as time passes and of course with the help of an understanding and experienced counselor, you gradually come to terms with your negative and suppressed emotions.

You are now in a stage, where you are in an extremely difficult mental state, as, you are face to face with those deep-seated fears. Now is the time when you really need to be strong and explain to yourself that all is well and these fears were justified, but you did a great job in facing those fears, and in real life, you handled the difficult struggle, with absolute Valiance!

This takes a lot of time, depending on how much time you are taking to explain yourself and calm your surging negative emotions, which keep attacking you ruthlessly!

But, life goes on and in real life, there are numerous responsibilities and you have to manage them, along with coping with this internal storm. Believe me, it is the most difficult thing, which any person would be doing! On the one hand, you are dealing with extreme negativity and oscillating between a plethora of countless questions and your mind is feverishly trying to control and keep itself balanced in the storm, while on the other hand your some very demanding responsibilities, which have come to the forefront.

Now, what do you do? You have no choice but to put a brave front and complete your responsibilities with a smile! When you finally finish completing all your current jobs, that is when realization dawns on you, that, ” Oh my God!”, you made it once again!

That is when you feel that your internal Valiance and your sheer grit has won and trust me it is the most exhilarating feeling ever! You feel victorious and happy that this time you won over all the suppressed emotions and caught yourself in time and controlled them and brought yourself to a state where you know that you have made it!

You feel exhilarated and applaud yourself and feel like celebrating and savoring each moment of this incomparable joy. One faces troubles, issues, sufferings and countless problems in one’s life, they are easy to handle at one level, as you are fighting with the outside forces, but when the fight is within you and it is threatening you like your own cruel enemy, then to fight out your own demons is the most difficult task on Earth!

I did it, as I am a valiant indomitable spirit, with a never say die attitude and I am a die-hard fighter! After this victory on my own self-created suppressed emotions, I feel ecstatic, and now I am joyous beyond words!

I am getting back to my normal life and feeling calm and I have certainly found a way, with new goals and horizons to scale.

Life has been a struggle no doubt, but, after this particular victory, I feel stronger and more determined and totally prepared to take on the next phase of it, with a lot of enthusiasm.

Fickle-mindedness


What if you are surrounded by indecisive people? Confusion utter confusion, that I what you get, when the company you keep, are constantly indecisive of what they want to do, in their day to day routine. The thought process of such people is more like a fast-moving electric ray on a computer monitor which keeps wavering each second.

It feels like you are caught in a whirlpool that has the power of sucking you in and leaving you powerless! As powerless as the churner of a rural lady, who uses it to churn the butter out of freshly made dahi! The churner is at the mercy of the lady and her sheer brute force, as she doesn’t stop till the butter doesn’t get separated! Now that poor churner keeps getting targeted, every time the butter needs to be made. In the same way, when you are surrounded by indecisive fickle-minded people, your life is the same as the churner of the lady!

When you get pulled in ten different directions, in things as simple as whether you want to do something, or don’t want to do something. There is a constant “no” and “yes”, on each and everything you do and it tests your patience to the core! For example, with this group of fickle-minded people, you decide to go for lunch and you decide on a restaurant, where you want to go, for ages. Somehow, with great difficulty, you convince this group, to go to that place and you are very excited and get dressed, in your choicest of accessories and dress up well and think that, now you will have a great evening and when you come out of your room all dressed in your finery, you are told, that the pre-decided restaurant, has been dropped like a hot cake, as supposedly the restaurant doesn’t serve good food!

You are dumbfounded, that now what you should do? Somehow you clench your teeth and say, that there will be a next time, when finally you will go to your fave place to have a leisurely lunch. The story does not end there, there is much much more to come.

You reach this forlorn boring restaurant, where supposedly there is good food, then another very interesting story of these fickle-minded people unfolds. The menu is given by the waiter and there is a heated discussion as to who will eat what. I am handed the menu in a very civil way and I happily choose my food, but this group, totally shuns my choice, saying that that choice is either too costly or bad to taste! I quietly look down, not to look angry, as I am very angry. The food comes in after a lot of shaky choices, that who will eat what. I put a morsel of food anticipating the good food and it tastes Ewww! I wonder how everyone was so keen to come to this forlorn place with such tasteless food! I look around and I see everyone eating in bliss! I somehow try to suppress my anger and feel happy that at least these people are happy.

Life with such people is so stressful, at times that it confuses you no end. When you have to make important decisions, such as the choice of your child’s college, or talking about how to solve a certain odd behavior pattern of the child, which needs attention, then again you notice marked impulsiveness and dire impatience in coming to a decision, as the basic attribute of having a fixed opinion and decision-making power is missing! Ultimately I have to take the problem into my hands and solve it according to my discretion.

Such people are prone to a lot of pessimism and anger issues, as when they decide to do something in their lives, they are filled with doubts, as to whether their goal will be achieved or not, as again in their minds, they oscillate, as to whether it will happen or no.

The funniest part of living with such people is that, when they get drunk, you should listen to them talk. They fluctuate between umpteen topics and literally travel the world or eat the choicest of foods and decide, supposedly, to go somewhere and the next day, when the booze effect wears off, all the previous night decisions vanish in thin air!

To sum up, my life with these fickle-minded people is like a roller coaster ride and full of fun and thrills! At times you do feel confused and have a serious lack of confidence and mental confusion, but once you pull yourself up and think clearly in your mind that you need to be strong, firm, and decisive and hold them all together, then things move smoothly and the key to this is remaining absolutely calm and relaxed and take the right decisions, despite vehement oppositions from this set of shaky shaky people!. You have to literally be like the firm hand of a balloon wala, where you have these oscillating gay colorful balloons, who need to be controlled, but with care.

It is a tough life no doubt, but the daily thrill I get living with them is an ultimate joy!

A Sigh


How do you feel, when you are caught in a whirlpool of innumerable, challenging circumstances and you literally juggle with all of them at once and then at the end of it, how do you feel? You heave a Sigh. A sigh of relief and satisfaction, that once again you did it!

That is how I am feeling right now, feeling satisfied and sighing with a sense of victory and joy! This sigh is so deep, that it is touching my soul, as, the challenges were literally questioning my very existence and all that I believed to date.

Every breath I take, makes me feel ecstatic and brimming with joy, when I see myself now, after this victory and I pat myself on my back and congratulate myself, that despite all odds, I could find my way out and emerge, just in the way I wanted to.

Life has always thrown numerous challenges, at me and I have, with the help of my deep faith in God, sailed through effortlessly! But, this particular set of challenges, where my very existence and my pre-conceived notions were questioned, was the toughest of them all!

I was confused, baffled, totally non-plussed, as to what should I do now. But, I gathered all my courage, as time passed and finally after days of mental turmoil, I am now filled with satisfaction, heaving a deep, happy and victorious sigh.

Victory is sweet and this kind of victory, where you solve all your issues mentally makes you feel ethereal!

Struggles


Have you ever struggled in your life? I have struggled at various levels, internally and externally, and believe me, it gets very tough at times when the struggle is at both ends. When, internally you are grappling with a storm of emotions, and externally you are trying your best to set things right, on various fronts, in your personal life.

If you are a strong person internally, then, winning over any struggle, becomes effortless and you are able to tide over any hurdles, that come in your way. But, when internally you are weak and trying to come to terms with a number of fundamental issues in your life and you are at that crucial time, when you are so vulnerable, that a slight smirk or frown of close ones, bothers you, at this time, if you suddenly come face to face with an external issue, which seems so indomitable and impossible to surmount, then what do you do?

Honestly speaking, this comes from the depth of my heart, that being struck, by an external, extremely tough challenge, at a time when you are at your rock bottom, personally, hits you unawares and you are at a loss, as to what you should do. But, the storm strikes at you, with full force, unremorsefully, with all its cruelty. You fall, you get hurt and you get bruised and at times you get blown off, but, despite being internally weak, your indomitable spirit, which has its roots in the strongest Faith of God, remains undefeated!

No matter how hard you have been hit, no matter how bruised you are, you stand up once again and prepare yourself mentally, for this external challenge and keep your vulnerable weak side on the back burner for once and gather all your courage to fight it out with a winning attitude and achieve victory over it.

Now, you will ask me that how do I feel about it. Well, I feel ecstatic! That is the word!

When I was weak, I was dealing with immense mental turmoil and I was questioning each aspect of my inherent nature. It was such a fast process, faster than, the fastest computer on Earth! One after the other I kept smoothening all the knots and doubts I had about myself, my relationships, and my general countenance, and my environment. It was like I was on a journey of self-discovery and self-improvement. I was omitting all my pre-conceived notions and long-formed impressions and opinions and steering my life into a new direction.

At this juncture, when I was still coming to terms with my new self, when I was fragile and extremely vulnerable and over-sensitive, Life took me unawares and struck me with a challenge, about which I had no idea that I will come face to face with! It was a complicated issue, that grew even more complicated as days passed and there seemed no solution to it, no matter what I did. I prayed to the Almighty, for strength, and for some direction, to find some solutions, but, the issue remained as it is and refused to budge, and stood in front of me as formidable as a huge boulder.

I am one stubborn and resilient person. If I make a decision to achieve something and defeat a particular challenge, I leave no stone unturned and strike at it with full force, then I don’t think about myself or my mental state, my focus is only on the issue, and no matter how tough the struggle is, I fight it out and do not rest till I defeat it and achieve success!

Struggles are a part of anyone’s life and their purpose is to test our resilience. Each person faces his/her own sets of struggles in different ways. Some people fear them and give up, even before trying, they are usually cowards, who hardly attain success in their lives. While others, gather their courage and begin their journey of struggling, but midway they give up, when they face tough challenges. But, the tougher and most successful people are those, who begin their struggle with the thought that we have already won it! This category of people are brave, fearless, and have a strong spirit and usually, they surpass all the hurdles that come their way and achieve success, in each of their personal struggles.

Life has this usual pattern of phases of struggles and successes, on a time to time basis. How each person’s life shapes up, depends on how he has faced and tackled his individual struggles and achieved success or failures. One must always be wise and make the right decisions at the right time and never lose hope and be determined and full of positivity, as only a positive attitude in life takes you a long long way ahead.

A Yearning Mother


I gave birth to them, brought them up, in the best possible way, and always felt that they are not my kids, but my best friends. My darlings, my cute little cherub of a daughter, and my naughty, chirpy son, are truly the apple of my eyes.

My life revolved around them and always will. Very recently both of my little birdies flew out of my nest, to make a life of their own. I gladly bid them goodbye, thanking the Almighty, that despite these trying times of Covid, they could get admission to their desired colleges. I was happy, relieved, and satisfied that finally, they could embark on a journey of their own lives and hopefully find lots and lots of success.

Little did I know that my house will be engulfed in a pall of emptiness, a deafening silence, which was unending. It was as if time stood still and my inner self froze. On the outside I was living normally and going on with my usual life, enjoying the newfound freedom of having no responsibilities for my kids on a day-to-day basis, but inside me, there was a void. I felt alone, desolate, lost, and aimless. I did not know what to do.

Days kept passing by and my husband came back, after dropping my son off at college. Now I felt a huge sense of reassurance, that I have company and I can get over that deep sense of emptiness and find some direction in my life. Life alone with him was like a long-cherished dream come true. I was in the seventh heaven! I felt like as though I had gone back twenty years down the line and we were back to where we started as a young couple.

We went out of coffees, dinners, weekend outings, to our cottage and started having a whale of a time with each other. I felt very content and totally at peace. I thanked the Almighty, that I was so fortunate to have such a gem of a person as my husband.

Filled with renewed energy I started concentrating on myself now. I had a number of health issues, was overweight, jobless, totally aimless and my spiritual stability was literally in shatters.

I made a resolve that I will get back to good health and find something meaningful to do and last but not least, I consciously worked on my spiritual stability. With full vigor, I got into Chanting and then my life started changing for the better.

I started going out for walks and was chanting on a daily basis, but no matter what, I wasn’t able to write. Writing has and always will be first love. Time was passing by with its own galloping pace. I was settling down in this new life without my kids, but the void and emptiness kept hounding me with an unforgiving vengeance.

I was missing my kids each day, each moment. I could visualize my daughter prancing around the home, filled with excitement and joy, and conversing with me, on any and every topic. We had developed a deep bond of being the best of friends. She was my strongest support system and used to help me, at various junctures of my life.

My son is a very spirited and highly intelligent boy. I missed him, whenever I saw his bike, or I entered his room. At times I could see him cooking in the kitchen and whenever I used to get agitated, he acted as my calming agent.

As a mother, I yearned and longed to see my kids around me, even though it was only three months since they left. That void which I felt, kept hounding me, was earlier filled with the joy to see them around and now the emptiness of them being away was eating my soul.

I whined and wailed, tried to speak to my husband about it, but to no avail. The void kept growing larger and larger and when it threatened to engulf me and plunge me into a state of depression, that is when I told myself, that I need to address this void and I consulted my counselor and he guided me in a fantastic manner, as to how I need to deal with this situation. I started taking a few mild medicines, which helped me to relax and I gradually calmed down and came to terms, with my present state of life.

I got busy with my writing, health routine, and chanting. I discovered that when I wrote, I feel free and totally at peace.

The void is still there and it will always be there, but I will learn to live with it. I know my children are safe and on a journey of making their lives, they live in my heart and when I close my eyes, I find them near me.

I yearn for them, but, their memories give me strength and the motivation to keep going and make something of my life, now that I have all the time on hand.

I have long cherished dreams to fulfill and goals to achieve. I am a yearning mother no doubt, but I am a strong and determined person who has embarked on a journey of self-discovery.

I want to become a writer whose words are understood and my messages come across clearly. I want to devote time to working for the rural women, who constantly face male domination.

I know I can achieve my goals, as I know I can do it I am a yearning mother, but my heart is filled with unlimited dreams and aspirations and I know I can make them come true. I will continue guiding my kids and making a life of my own.

You and me, me and You


Here we are together and joyous!

Strolling around with the blessings of the Gracious!

He has given us this beautiful day,

Where we prance around with ultimate gay,

We are happy as we feel complete and content with each other,

Each moment that we spend with each other, is without any bother,

As, when we are together it is just

You and me, me and you,

The world passes by, with all its troubles and tribulations,

But, when I am with you, I am oblivious of all of its machinations,

Your company is like my cocoon, my most cherished zone, the place where I thrive,

grow and survive,

From all kinds of difficulties that may come my way.

I follow you with trust, devotion, and sincerity,

With a dream in my heart, that I will continue being with you till posterity,

With a dream, that we will have little peahens, who will flower with our kind of grace,

And will prance around this world with our kind of pace.

My heart brims with love for you and I thank God for you,

My existence basks in your affection and I will always be there for you,

In thick and in thin, in joy and in misery,

Even when life is a mystery,

When things are not going fine and we go hungry for days,

I will never lose hope and hold your hand tight in those days.

Life is challenging and full of struggles and constant danger,

But, when I am with you, I forget everything and dance with joy and vigor,

We are only the two of us, but we are a world within us,

And in that world, there is only love, determination, and resolve to be glorious,

Despite anything and forever emerge victorious.

So let us rejoice in this emotion of love, where there is fortitude and strength,

With vigor and enthusiasm, we prance around every length,

With determined goals in our hearts, for our future lives,

We move forward with joy and hope and thank God that,

there is a,

You and me, me and you.