Struggles


Have you ever struggled in your life? I have struggled at various levels, internally and externally, and believe me, it gets very tough at times when the struggle is at both ends. When, internally you are grappling with a storm of emotions, and externally you are trying your best to set things right, on various fronts, in your personal life.

If you are a strong person internally, then, winning over any struggle, becomes effortless and you are able to tide over any hurdles, that come in your way. But, when internally you are weak and trying to come to terms with a number of fundamental issues in your life and you are at that crucial time, when you are so vulnerable, that a slight smirk or frown of close ones, bothers you, at this time, if you suddenly come face to face with an external issue, which seems so indomitable and impossible to surmount, then what do you do?

Honestly speaking, this comes from the depth of my heart, that being struck, by an external, extremely tough challenge, at a time when you are at your rock bottom, personally, hits you unawares and you are at a loss, as to what you should do. But, the storm strikes at you, with full force, unremorsefully, with all its cruelty. You fall, you get hurt and you get bruised and at times you get blown off, but, despite being internally weak, your indomitable spirit, which has its roots in the strongest Faith of God, remains undefeated!

No matter how hard you have been hit, no matter how bruised you are, you stand up once again and prepare yourself mentally, for this external challenge and keep your vulnerable weak side on the back burner for once and gather all your courage to fight it out with a winning attitude and achieve victory over it.

Now, you will ask me that how do I feel about it. Well, I feel ecstatic! That is the word!

When I was weak, I was dealing with immense mental turmoil and I was questioning each aspect of my inherent nature. It was such a fast process, faster than, the fastest computer on Earth! One after the other I kept smoothening all the knots and doubts I had about myself, my relationships, and my general countenance, and my environment. It was like I was on a journey of self-discovery and self-improvement. I was omitting all my pre-conceived notions and long-formed impressions and opinions and steering my life into a new direction.

At this juncture, when I was still coming to terms with my new self, when I was fragile and extremely vulnerable and over-sensitive, Life took me unawares and struck me with a challenge, about which I had no idea that I will come face to face with! It was a complicated issue, that grew even more complicated as days passed and there seemed no solution to it, no matter what I did. I prayed to the Almighty, for strength, and for some direction, to find some solutions, but, the issue remained as it is and refused to budge, and stood in front of me as formidable as a huge boulder.

I am one stubborn and resilient person. If I make a decision to achieve something and defeat a particular challenge, I leave no stone unturned and strike at it with full force, then I don’t think about myself or my mental state, my focus is only on the issue, and no matter how tough the struggle is, I fight it out and do not rest till I defeat it and achieve success!

Struggles are a part of anyone’s life and their purpose is to test our resilience. Each person faces his/her own sets of struggles in different ways. Some people fear them and give up, even before trying, they are usually cowards, who hardly attain success in their lives. While others, gather their courage and begin their journey of struggling, but midway they give up, when they face tough challenges. But, the tougher and most successful people are those, who begin their struggle with the thought that we have already won it! This category of people are brave, fearless, and have a strong spirit and usually, they surpass all the hurdles that come their way and achieve success, in each of their personal struggles.

Life has this usual pattern of phases of struggles and successes, on a time to time basis. How each person’s life shapes up, depends on how he has faced and tackled his individual struggles and achieved success or failures. One must always be wise and make the right decisions at the right time and never lose hope and be determined and full of positivity, as only a positive attitude in life takes you a long long way ahead.

A Yearning Mother


I gave birth to them, brought them up, in the best possible way, and always felt that they are not my kids, but my best friends. My darlings, my cute little cherub of a daughter, and my naughty, chirpy son, are truly the apple of my eyes.

My life revolved around them and always will. Very recently both of my little birdies flew out of my nest, to make a life of their own. I gladly bid them goodbye, thanking the Almighty, that despite these trying times of Covid, they could get admission to their desired colleges. I was happy, relieved, and satisfied that finally, they could embark on a journey of their own lives and hopefully find lots and lots of success.

Little did I know that my house will be engulfed in a pall of emptiness, a deafening silence, which was unending. It was as if time stood still and my inner self froze. On the outside I was living normally and going on with my usual life, enjoying the newfound freedom of having no responsibilities for my kids on a day-to-day basis, but inside me, there was a void. I felt alone, desolate, lost, and aimless. I did not know what to do.

Days kept passing by and my husband came back, after dropping my son off at college. Now I felt a huge sense of reassurance, that I have company and I can get over that deep sense of emptiness and find some direction in my life. Life alone with him was like a long-cherished dream come true. I was in the seventh heaven! I felt like as though I had gone back twenty years down the line and we were back to where we started as a young couple.

We went out of coffees, dinners, weekend outings, to our cottage and started having a whale of a time with each other. I felt very content and totally at peace. I thanked the Almighty, that I was so fortunate to have such a gem of a person as my husband.

Filled with renewed energy I started concentrating on myself now. I had a number of health issues, was overweight, jobless, totally aimless and my spiritual stability was literally in shatters.

I made a resolve that I will get back to good health and find something meaningful to do and last but not least, I consciously worked on my spiritual stability. With full vigor, I got into Chanting and then my life started changing for the better.

I started going out for walks and was chanting on a daily basis, but no matter what, I wasn’t able to write. Writing has and always will be first love. Time was passing by with its own galloping pace. I was settling down in this new life without my kids, but the void and emptiness kept hounding me with an unforgiving vengeance.

I was missing my kids each day, each moment. I could visualize my daughter prancing around the home, filled with excitement and joy, and conversing with me, on any and every topic. We had developed a deep bond of being the best of friends. She was my strongest support system and used to help me, at various junctures of my life.

My son is a very spirited and highly intelligent boy. I missed him, whenever I saw his bike, or I entered his room. At times I could see him cooking in the kitchen and whenever I used to get agitated, he acted as my calming agent.

As a mother, I yearned and longed to see my kids around me, even though it was only three months since they left. That void which I felt, kept hounding me, was earlier filled with the joy to see them around and now the emptiness of them being away was eating my soul.

I whined and wailed, tried to speak to my husband about it, but to no avail. The void kept growing larger and larger and when it threatened to engulf me and plunge me into a state of depression, that is when I told myself, that I need to address this void and I consulted my counselor and he guided me in a fantastic manner, as to how I need to deal with this situation. I started taking a few mild medicines, which helped me to relax and I gradually calmed down and came to terms, with my present state of life.

I got busy with my writing, health routine, and chanting. I discovered that when I wrote, I feel free and totally at peace.

The void is still there and it will always be there, but I will learn to live with it. I know my children are safe and on a journey of making their lives, they live in my heart and when I close my eyes, I find them near me.

I yearn for them, but, their memories give me strength and the motivation to keep going and make something of my life, now that I have all the time on hand.

I have long cherished dreams to fulfill and goals to achieve. I am a yearning mother no doubt, but I am a strong and determined person who has embarked on a journey of self-discovery.

I want to become a writer whose words are understood and my messages come across clearly. I want to devote time to working for the rural women, who constantly face male domination.

I know I can achieve my goals, as I know I can do it I am a yearning mother, but my heart is filled with unlimited dreams and aspirations and I know I can make them come true. I will continue guiding my kids and making a life of my own.

You and me, me and You


Here we are together and joyous!

Strolling around with the blessings of the Gracious!

He has given us this beautiful day,

Where we prance around with ultimate gay,

We are happy as we feel complete and content with each other,

Each moment that we spend with each other, is without any bother,

As, when we are together it is just

You and me, me and you,

The world passes by, with all its troubles and tribulations,

But, when I am with you, I am oblivious of all of its machinations,

Your company is like my cocoon, my most cherished zone, the place where I thrive,

grow and survive,

From all kinds of difficulties that may come my way.

I follow you with trust, devotion, and sincerity,

With a dream in my heart, that I will continue being with you till posterity,

With a dream, that we will have little peahens, who will flower with our kind of grace,

And will prance around this world with our kind of pace.

My heart brims with love for you and I thank God for you,

My existence basks in your affection and I will always be there for you,

In thick and in thin, in joy and in misery,

Even when life is a mystery,

When things are not going fine and we go hungry for days,

I will never lose hope and hold your hand tight in those days.

Life is challenging and full of struggles and constant danger,

But, when I am with you, I forget everything and dance with joy and vigor,

We are only the two of us, but we are a world within us,

And in that world, there is only love, determination, and resolve to be glorious,

Despite anything and forever emerge victorious.

So let us rejoice in this emotion of love, where there is fortitude and strength,

With vigor and enthusiasm, we prance around every length,

With determined goals in our hearts, for our future lives,

We move forward with joy and hope and thank God that,

there is a,

You and me, me and you.

When I bring a Smile.


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Such a beautiful day!

Just came out for a walk with my amour. Love her company and graceful gait. Feel so fortunate to have her in my life.

So, while walking down the street and enjoying the cool breeze, after morning rains, I glanced at a group of men, chatting away. They seemed to discuss something important, with tensed tones. I walked close to them with my amour following me, cautiously. I wondered what might be bothering those men and why were they tensed. I only hoped that by looking at me, I evoke a smile, so that their tension could go away for a second.

Nature is filled with the beauty of so many little things, which we can savor and enjoy, but these humans don’t understand. They get affected by trifling issues in their lives and fail to appreciate the beauty of Nature and life in general.

I enjoy the beautiful morning dew, the fresh crisp air, the blooming flowers, the green grass covered with fallen flowers, coated with the coolness of the early morning air. This beauty gives you a message, a message of peace and calmness. It tells you that when the various components of Nature like the trees, mountains, rivers, animals, remain unaffected by the vagaries of time and keep going despite any kind of challenges they face, in the same way, my dear humans, you need to be calm inside and remain unaffected, no matter what problems or issues you face in your lives.

I begin each day with a struggle to find food for myself and my cute little amour and feel fortunate, that at least this day has gone by, with a filled stomach!

I dont get affected internally by the struggle and quest for food each day, as I have to fight it out to find food. My spirits are undaunted and I never whine, when I dont get food. I happily do my job, content with whatever amount of food I get each day.

At the end of the day, I heave a sigh of relief and cuddle my amour and have a satisfied sleep, thinking that tomorrow will be another day, filled with the struggle to find food. I have to survive, so struggling is a part of my life, so I keep doing that with a calm mind.

Bringing a smile on the faces of humans, is something which makes me joyful, so, I will continue walking down the streets, with my head held high and naturally, if I chance to see any humans who are sad, I would love to evoke a smile and give them happiness, at least till the time, I am with them.

As, spreading joy is what I love doing and I will continue doing it all my life, whether it is among my own community of peacocks, or it is for the humans.

When life turns topsy-turvy



Life has its own pace and usually takes its course, along with its ups and downs. When all is well, then you are content and satisfied with life and you look forward to your future, but, when suddenly everything turns topsy-turvy, then reality hits you and it hits you hard.

The pandemic came into my life, with the intensity of a hurricane, and blew me off my feet. It challenged my patience to such an extent, that I was at my wit’s end and I did not really understand, what should be my next step. It took me a few months to actually understand what has happened and how I need to gather my courage and support my family in these times of extreme crisis.

Due to the pandemic, my kid’s exams got canceled, my husband lost his job and things were getting from bad to worse. I was extremely frustrated and upset with this turn of events and I tried my best to comfort them and make them understand, that there is hope and all will be well. My health and my family’s health were at stake and it seemed like, if I stepped out of my home, then I will be swallowed alive by this demon called Covid.

As time passed, things started getting better and life slowly started inching back to normalcy. By November last year, I was able to instill some hope in my kids and they got admission to their desired colleges. On the other side, I was constantly supporting my unemployed husband and comforting him, with a lot of hopeful words. Due to my tremendous faith in God, I could tide over this tough phase of life.

The past few months have taught me a very valuable lesson about life and that is, that life is very unpredictable and full of uncertainty. When I thought that all was well, my kids fell sick with covid. Then the travel plans of my kids, their visa, and other college formalities were doubt-ridden. My husband is still handling his new status of being unemployed. Due to these uncertainties and utter insecurity about the future, my attitude towards life has changed for good.

I have become way tougher now and I feel proud of myself, that I could steer my family and myself out of these rough times. I stood by them as a pillar of strength, despite the fact at times I used to feel weak and lost.

I have learned that, survive any such future challenging times, one should go with the flow and take each moment as it comes, and never lose hope.

Human Observations


Life is full of observations of varied kinds. My observations are about people, incidents involving humans, relationships, moods, family dynamics, the realities of life, and a host of other things, which are infinite. The depth of my observation can be measured with my opinion of a particular category. The best part is that when I observe people or a particular person, I see the person as a whole, and at times and feel the purity of the soul of that person!

People

The most interesting category of my observations is human beings. I thoroughly enjoy scrutinizing the various nuances of humans. They are very intriguing and forever changing, according to their emotions and circumstances, while, on the other hand, some humans remain rigid and averse to any change, with time. Each person has layers and layers of personality, which carry various dark and bright shades. I see through these shades by a mere look at them and understand the kind of person he/she might be. That is the fun part, of observing humans, as I am absolutely amazed by the variety and uniqueness of each person. Their personality is clearly depicted by their mannerisms, whether they are in a group or present themselves individually.

Humans as a whole interest me, as they are so complicated, yet so simple, now that might be a contradicting statement, but, that is a fact, as humans are an enigma, they are an amalgam of a host of personality components that are not only intriguing but mind-boggling as well. Now you will ask me, “What is your observation about humans?” Well, that is an interesting question! The answer is any normal human being is a balance of his emotional, mental and spiritual quotient. Those who are able to balance these three intrinsic components of their personalities, turn out to be successful and lead a peaceful, content, and satisfying life, while those who are not able to strike a balance between these three components lead a life of discontent and constant mental strife. Their outward appearance shows their balanced or imbalanced attributes.

Family Dynamics

Family dynamics emerge out of relationships and internal family politics. It is all about who takes control as the head of the family and who follows the leader of the family. Those who quietly appease the head of the family and suppress their own wishes and desires for the sake of family peace and just live their lives according to the head of the family, just live their lives in his/her fear. They don’t have the guts to rebel against the leader of the family, even if he/she is wrong. But, those who are rebels, or are the black sheep of the family, tend to rebel against the head of the family and go their own way and lead their lives independently.

Incidents involving Humans

When I observe incidents involving humans, I see numerous aspects of humans altogether! These incidents can take place in a marketplace, a friend’s party. an office gathering or something which happened at the roadside! Humans amaze me when, constantly, in different scenarios, different incidents take place. I wonder at times, that have I really seen it all, in this huge Kaleidoscope of the human population? Incidents can be like these, like the other day I saw a middle-aged woman being chased by an aged psycho, in a bustling marketplace! No matter what she did, she could not shoo him away, till she sat in her car! In the same way, I saw a hassled mother trying to feed her erratic toddler in a restaurant. She was controlling her anger and going about her business patiently and made sure to feed her kid, despite stiff resistance! 

There was another incident, where I saw a group of youngsters on the roadside having a heated argument and I could clearly see a spew of emotions and tempers flying in the air! I was astounded to see one thing, which amused me no end and that was, that there was one girl, a young sprightly girl. who was pitted against a whole group of eight gutsy guys! After a fifteen-minute squabble, all of those guys finally seemed to listen to her and accede to her wishes. After she finished what she had to say, the boys demurely went back to business. 

Observing such an incident in the busy bustling streets of India, where the guys were literally defeated at the hands of a young girl, made me feel very proud of her. I think she was warning those guys to not do something, as she undeniably did not like it and had to put her foot down, maybe it was a personal or a professional issue. Such incidents bring out the character of humans and I love making a mental note of them.

Relationships

 When I scrutinize relationships, then, I feel, that they are the most beautiful set of bonds among humans. They are the binding force, the soul of humanity, as a whole. Those who are are able to sustain their relationships and are able to nurture their bonds are able to lead a life of fulfillment and satisfaction.  

Each relationship, whether it is a parental bond, a bond of friendship, a sibling bond, or any other bond for that matter, is a complex mixture of emotions. Once these relationships are formed, they grow and mature with time. The most important aspect that I have noticed, in any relationship, is the effort that goes into sustaining it for a lifetime! 

  Parents need to constantly work towards providing healthy and all-around growth for their children and at the same time change their parenting techniques according to the times, otherwise, they face a huge communication gap, with their kids. Friendship is a bond, that is the best relationship of all, as it doesn’t have rules and it is full of affection and care. Mutual respect plays an important role in any friendship. Sibling bonds are again the cutest of all, as siblings grow up together, share the most cherished moments together and when they are adults, their mutual fondness grows by leaps and bounds, and certainly for any person, when it comes to his/her sibling, blood is thicker than water, no doubt!

Mood 

Mood. What is a mood? Well, moods can be of a group or of a person. Moods create a vibrancy a defining character to any person or a group. Moods can again be varied, they can be filled with joy and enthusiasm, or they can be morbid and outrightly sad. Moods give a vibe to any person, a positive or a negative vibe, and his/her outside appearance exudes that vibe. The internal moods of any group or person create auras and these auras form positive and negative clouds around them. Moods are like waves that have higher crests when a person feels positive, happy, and full of life and they have lower crests, when they feel low and lost and have less hope and are filled with sadness and desperation. Moods permeate and seep into each group or person and according to my observation, moods define their basic essence and character.

Realities of Life

Now, coming to my observation of the realities of Life. I would honestly like to ask this question to all my readers, that how many of you are acquainted with the realities of life? What are they? How do you say in an assertive and affirmative way, that I am aware of the realities of Life? I would love to answer these questions, by saying that those people, who go through the vagaries of life and struggle through numerous challenges and ultimately emerge victorious, know the reality of life. 

The reality of life is that nothing comes easy. Each person has to strive to achieve success in whatever he/she does and this is true for everyone, whether they are rich or poor, or belong to any community. Another most prominent reality of life is that suffering is an integral part of our lives. Sufferings are like the tests of God. They come in phases. Normally we suffer for a fixed amount of time and if we have the conviction to surmount the miseries and fight it out, we come out victorious! Each human faces these phases of suffering and how his/her life shapes up. totally depends on how they bravely battle it out and emerge victorious. The reality of life is that one must go with the flow and take life as it comes and be totally prepared for any eventuality. We have one life and we should strive to live it fully and savor every moment of it.

Phew! This blog has certainly turned out to be lengthy, but, I tried to put nearly all my observations, in relation to this interesting category of humans, in one blog. I hope you enjoy reading it, as I enjoyed writing it.