Monthly Archives: September 2012

The Drastic Change(Story)

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This is my story the story of how as a young teenager I had faced very difficult circumstances in my life when I shifted from Hyderabad to Delhi.It takes you on journey wherein you will see how I found the absolutely different environment of North India as compared to South India.How I had a culture shock and I totally transformed myself from bubbly,happy and carefree teenager,into a mature and sensitive person.

I was just fourteen years old when life took a drastic turn and I experienced such enormous changes , that I was not only shocked, but it  took a long time for me to accept those changes and adapt and adjust according to  them in my life.I was a smart, cute and extremely intelligent girl,who enjoyed life and for me life was fun, friends and lots of adventure.Every moment of my life,at that young age of fourteen was full of mystery and adventure as I did not know what was going to happen to me in the coming years, as my father had been transferred to Delhi and I did not know what I was going to face over there after shifting over there for good.

As a child I was not pampered but, I was brought up in the best possible way,  my parents could afford for me.To sum it up I was a happy child who was loved and cared for by my parents as I was not only an obedient child, but I was quite good at my studies as well.Life in Hyderabad was like as though I was living in heaven.Things were hunky dory at school and I had the best of friends. I loved sports and my school encouraged sports to level that you could easily think of exploring possibilities of making it to the national level in sports.

I was a good athlete and I loved running.I was a good sprinter and I won a lot of prizes and awards in athletics and I was appreciated a lot by my friends and teachers.My studies were going on very well and I was usually among the first five rankers of my class.My School was the best school ever as it was a huge convent and it had a huge complex with a church and  a nunnery.I enjoyed every moment in that school and I loved my teachers.

At the home front I had a lot of friends who lived near my house in the same locality and I was lucky to get to know girls from different states of India and I  got to know about their customs and culture.We used to celebrate Ganesh Chaturthi with a lot of fervor and I thoroughly enjoyed performing on the stage which was put up for this occasion.My life was like a bed of roses where I had no worries at all and I had a lot of fun with my friends and close ones.

I have gone into a lot of detail in trying to explain about the details of my life in Hyderabad as I was extremely happy over there and I was not aware that I would be facing absolutely adverse and very difficult circumstances in Delhi.There was a drastic change in my life and my entire thought process and attitude towards life changed. It changed in such a way that even now after so many years when I am forty years of age I cannot forget the turmoil I had gone through,in those initial years.

I had shifted to Delhi at the age of fourteen, when I was an adolescent and I was discovering many aspects of growing up everyday.I was at an impressionable age and it was my utter misfortune that I had no one to help me out with my questions about the people around me and how I should handle myself and my attitude towards the absolutely new environment around me.

My visit to Delhi when I was a kid was always a holiday, where I used to visit all my close relatives who lived in Delhi and it was a long one month in the summers where I had a lot of fun spending time with all my cousins and relatives and it was the best period of the year for me.So, when I shifted to Delhi for good I was still under that impression that I am here for a holiday and I had the same attitude towards my relatives,but I was in for the first shock of my life when I saw them change colors.They were earlier very cordial towards me and my family and helped us settle down in our hometown, that is Delhi,but as months passed, they started feeling jealous of our prosperity and showed a cold shoulder to us when we asked them for help in many matters related to building a new house or about the behavior of certain people.

We gradually settled in our new house and I faced another rude shock in school, when I came face to face with the selfish and self centered mentality of the girls at my school and I did not make a single friend, as I found that every girl was very selfish.Whoever befriended me,was my friend till  she got her notebook which she needed and after her purpose was fulfilled, she forgot that professed friendship to me.Friendship for me was dedication and sincerity and ultimate love towards my friend and in that, there was no room for selfishness.But here in Delhi I learnt one cruel fact that I could trust no one and no one was my friend other than my parents and siblings.

I was shocked at the apathy the people had towards each other,whether it was the work place or home or school everyone was competing with each other.They were caught in an unending rat race.People had no time to enjoy the small joys of life.Life was a total showbiz and those who showed a good picture of oneself were famous and popular.

This drastic change in my life was too much digest initially as I was all alone and there was no to explain to me that these were normal changes which you experience when you enter a separate environment altogether.Moreover, I was teenager and I was going through tremendous changes in my body and my basic intellect and then, when I was faced with these adverse circumstances, wherein I had to cope with all my problem  all by myself, as my mother was busy working in a school and she was not that kind of mother who would befriend her young growing up daughter.

My mother believed in the fact that she provided well for her kids and they were reasonably well looked after,so she did not delve more deeply into the problems of her daughter and then, things were worse at my fathers end as he was a hard task master and only wanted results and what was worse that he became violent when things did not go according to his wish.My elder sister was the biggest villain in my life and she left no stone unturned in making my life a hell,due to jealousy.My only silver lining was my younger brother who was my closest friend and confidante and he helped me out in times of crises.My grandmother was my biggest support system and she acted as my friend and guide in all my trying and difficult times.

For me the most difficult part was to try to adjust with the entirely different mindset of the people in North India, who were superficial and fake as compared to the genuine and simple people of South India.I was basically very simple at heart and at the age of fourteen the major aspects of my personality had already taken shape, so at that stage when I was faced with this diametrically different mindset wherein no one cared for anyone,was a rude shock.It took me a long time to adjust with this selfish mindset and shape myself so.

After the initial four years when I shifted to Delhi, I learnt how to cope up with the drastic changes that took place in my life.I developed a close rapport with GOD,in those times as I had  stopped trusting anybody except myself and my GOD, who is a friend,support system and closest confidante.It is this proximity to GOD which has helped me a lot throughout my life and he has helped me and is still helping me in my life in many ways.

I learnt how to cope up with selfish friends and relatives and behaved with them in a neutral way and did not show any displeasure or happiness when I was around them.It hardly affected me anymore.I had formed a shell around me where there was GOD and only those who genuinely cared for me.Now I am happily married with two lovely kids and when I look back at those crucial years when my life changed,I feel that the strong person that I am now,it is only due to the struggle I faced in those initial years.

Changes happen in a person’s life and it is these changes that shape a person’s future and every person should have faith in GOD, and have patience till things change and of course as time passes one learns how to cope with any situation no matter how difficult it is,like I coped up with these drastic changes and made myself a strong and determined person, others can also cope up with any difficult situation only if they trust themselves and GOD.

Happiness

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What is Happiness?Is it a state of mind or is it something which a person feels after a period of exposure to something that pleases him or her, or certain situations which are caused due the immediate people around him.Happiness is an extremely joyous feeling which a person feels when he or she is very happy, due to something which has happened around him or her and due to which he or she is experiencing this present state of Happiness.

   The feeling of happiness is euphoric and it this state for which a person aspires for all his life.He works hard and studies all his life to be able to  reach a state of happiness and contentment in his life.

Happiness can be momentary or stretched through long periods of time.Momentary happiness brings about a lot of joy in a person’s life and it makes life worth living.This happiness is experienced by a mother when she looks at her little one giving a cute cherubic smile,or it is also experienced by anyone when he is trying to achieve something for a long time, like,if a fat person wants to lose weight and suddenly one day he notices a considerable decrease in this weight!These kinds of momentary joys or flashes of happiness make day to day life worth living.

Short termed happiness is also experienced by students when they get praise for their work in school or they score well in the tests.Youngsters experience this short termed happiness many times when they are appreciated for their looks or even when they are given admiring glaces by the opposite sex.These short termed states of happiness or little joys as they can be called, add a lot of zeal in a person’s life and when these little joys are peppered in your life then you can really feel how much this life can give you.

These little joys are the life giving pills for any person and all of us experience them,for a few of us these are more in number, if they are living their life according to their wish and also more importantly according to the wishes of others.For others these little joys do come their way, but they are less frequent because they are more self centered and for those who are not living their life fully and they are just existing(that is breathing,eating and sleeping).

Happiness which lasts for a long term is achieved after a person puts a sustained effort for a long period of time.For example if a person has slogged all through his life and worked very hard and saved up to build for himself a lovely house and finally when he moves into that house then the joy and happiness he experiences is ultimate!This happiness he will always feel till the time he is living in that house, as only he knows how hard he has worked to get that house built and whenever he sees the walls of that house and smells the fresh paint of the walls of that house, that lingering feeling of happiness and sense of achievement will always overpower him.

Long term happiness is also felt by a person when he sees his kids grow up into smart, intelligent and virtuous individuals.The joy becomes double fold, when people around him come and appreciate his kids and praise him for giving them such an exceptional upbringing,he feels ultimate joy and the happiness is everlasting, as he feels that he has performed his duty as a parent in the best possible way.

Henceforth, if in a nutshell one wants to know what is happiness, then he has to know what is he striving for in his life and what gives him happiness on a personal level.But all in all happiness is pure and unadulterated joy,sometimes it is short termed and at other times it is long termed, but no matter what it is,it is this happiness that makes life meaningful and worthwhile.

Outburst

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  What does a person do when he or she is blamed for no real fault of theirs?It is the most frustrating feeling and it leaves a sense of disgust and extreme anger.At times a person is able to control oneself by trying to calm himself or herself down,by sheer will power,but at other times if this feeling of disgust is not given a vent and it accumulates inside a person’s heart,then that is when things become very dangerous for the person himself or herself and the people around him or her.

   It results in spurts of outbursts in form of angry retorts to situations where the person would have otherwise been calm,but because that accumulated disgust wants an outlet,it comes out in the form of angry remarks towards close ones and in this process not only is the person around him or her hurt, but the person himself or herself is also hurt,as he or she is getting angry for no apparent reason.

    Outbursts can also happen in the form of short periods of crying or indulging in self pity.But the most frustrating part is that when the person due to which this sense of feeling helpless and lots of anger, is not even aware that he or she has hurt another person.In clearer terms I want to say that if a person is unnecessarily blamed for no fault of his by any close one of his and he(that close one) has intentionally hurt that person,then the worse part is when the person who has hurt is not even aware that he has deliberately hurt his or her close one.The strong feeling of being ignored at a time when you are hurt by that person himself or herself is very saddening and frustrating.

   The only respite from saving oneself from any accumulation of the feeling of disgust is to talk out the feeling of helplessness to someone close or write it down in your personal diary or cry it out of your system.Accumulation of disgust and a feeling of helplessness always breeds a lot of ill feeling for the person and the people around him or her.In order to control it and not let it overpower the person,he or she should be patient and take the help of GOD to talk out oneself from the feeling of sadness and frustration.

   Outbursts of any kind are harmful not only for the person but, also the people around him and if the person is himself or herself not in control of himself or herself then it spells doom for all the people around him or her.The best way out is by practicing extreme self control and this would not only benefit him or her but also his immediate close ones.

   Why do these outbursts happen in the first place?Well the reason is very simple when in a given situation the person is not able to openly express his or her discomfort on a particular thing for which he is wrongly blamed,only then he hides this discomfort in his heart and then he or she gives a vent to his frustration in front of some else for no apparent reason.

  The result is disastrous and gives leaves a bad taste in the persons mind and heart.The best way to avoid such situations is by talking things with the person who has wrongly blamed you and reason out and explain that he or she was not wrong and he or she is wrongly blaming him or her.By doing so he wil save himself or herself from the overpowering feeling of disgust and helplessness and his near and dear ones will also be spared of any unnecessary outbursts of this person.

  Henceforth, self control,utmost belief in GOD and good communication skills and lots of patience can help a person at the time of crisis and save himself and his close ones from a lot of unnecessary trouble.

My Feelings

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  My feelings are my most prized possessions as they are only mine and only I can understand them.I am at total peace with myself and my feelings towards the general atmosphere around me and my closest relations,that is my family,are very balanced.

  I have achieved this sense of peace after struggling with tremendous upheavals in my feelings towards my close ones and after a lot of speculation and cross questioning with myself.

   After all what are feelings?Are they your emotions towards what you are exposed to,or are they your immediate reaction to a certain situation.Feelings are reactions to any given situation, whether it is with a close one or the people you are associated with on a daily basis.I feel that they have waves in some form,sometimes they are on a high when you are extremely happy and at other times they are on a low ebb when you are feeling lonely and lost.

   How do they govern your life?Well feelings play a very significant aspect in your lives,they tell you exactly who you feel for and in other words,who do you care for in general,your near and dear ones and your friends.

  My feelings have had a very uneven pattern especially when I am faced with situations on which I have no control,especially those, where I am totally helpless and I cannot change the situation,no matter what.The only anchor of support I have in these trying times,is of GOD and he always helps me out and makes me balance out my thoughts and even out my feelings and that results in the present state of peace.

  One experiences this peace only when he or she does not have too many expectations from your own self.The best way to control yourself and balance out your emotions is to ask oneself as to what is it that you want from life and if,even after putting in all your efforts you are not able change certain situations according to your wish,then the best way out is to accept them as they are and wait till things change on their own,as some day they will change.Patience in close relations, always helps in the long run.

   Henceforth my feelings or for that matter anyones feelings are the ruling factor in a person’s life and they generally shape their life, as and how he or she is able to handle their emotions, according to situations.

Brave Rohan(Story)

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Rohan was an intelligent and smart boy, all of thirteen years of age. He was cute and good-looking and he loved going to school and playing soccer with his friends. He had a best friend and a few other good friends and on the whole he loved life and school in general. He had a loving family with a loving sister and caring parents.

  Despite all these good things in his life there was a very significant fault in his basic nature that stopped him to grow in a healthy fashion. He had an unknown fear of what would happen to him in the future if did not act in the required manner in the present. Supposing he did not complete his homework due to some reason then he would be gripped with the fear, that what would the teacher tell him when she discovers his lapse. Another instance is the fear of non-acceptance among his friends or being ridiculed by his friends. He had always been a very timid and shy child and at the same time his inherent innocence made him more vulnerable to peer pressure and needless ridicule.

    Rohan’s mother was very well aware of Rohan’s fears and was always trying to chat in a friendly manner and make him fight with his fears of his teachers and the fear of non acceptance at school, but no matter what Rohan was not able to overcome his fears and lead a tension free life.

  Life was going on at its normal humdrum pace and things were very smooth at Rohan’s end, till one fine day when life totally changed for him and he started looking at it with a totally different perspective. It was a Friday and Rohan was playing soccer with his close friend Manav after school hours in the school play ground. Both the kids were waiting for their cars to arrive and pick them up from school. Both the boys were having a blast playing the game and were thoroughly enjoying it and having a great time, when suddenly while kicking the ball Manav kicked the ball a bit too hard and slipped and fell on the edge of the football ground. While falling Manav hit the brick lining of the ground and smashed his forehead in the process. Due to the sudden fall and the hit on the head he fell unconscious on the ground. Rohan was shocked to see his friend fall on the ground and rushed towards him and found him unconscious and bleeding profusely from the forehead, as he had probably banged his head on the brick lining. Rohan was initially at a loss as to what he should do in this condition but he acted on a sudden impulse and immediately called out to his soccer coach who was sitting in the sports room, a little away from the ground. The coach heard the shout and came running and when he came to terms with the emergency he quickly called the nurse from the medical room and Manav was taken to the medical room where he was given the initial first aid, but as the wound was quite serious there a lot of bleeding, so the nurse suggested that child be rushed to a nearby hospital.

   Meanwhile, Rohan acted fast and quickly called his car driver and Manav’s driver and told them to fetch their mothers from their homes and bring them to the hospital. Rohan also went with the medical team of the school to the hospital and was by the side of Manav all the while and when he became conscious and was being given stitches, Rohan held his hand and comforted and helped him to endure the pain. It is commendable that such a young boy did not panic at the time of crisis and took the required measures, like calling Manav’s mother on time to the hospital and then being by Manav’s side at the time when he needed him the most. Such patience and such a quick presence of mind of Rohan showed how strong and brave Rohan was as a person and how he could tackle emergencies in way, of which he himself was not aware.

   The next day when Rohan went to school he was welcomed with claps and applause and a lot of praise by his classmates and teachers. He got the praise from the same teachers of whom he was so afraid and he got applause from the same friends whose supposed non-acceptance always bothered him. He was surprised and extremely glad when he got all this praise for something, which he did out of fellow brotherhood and sense of humanity. He did not help his friend for getting all this praise and the after effect of this incident was a very pleasant one. Rohan was now free of the fear of the teachers and his peers as he saw them in a different and extremely positive light.

  Now life was even more enjoyable for him as he was now a hero among his friends and had gained a lot of favor of his teachers as well. Through all this he learned that fear of anything no matter how deep rooted it is, is not good as it not only harms the psyche but also makes a person less confident and weak in the heart. Henceforth he promised himself not to have unnecessary fears which would have a crippling effect on his life.

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